Is it rude to stay in a hotel instead of a ryokan?

Not at all. Tokyo is a massive, modern city. Hotels are the standard for 95% of travelers due to convenience and price.

Do I have to share a bathroom at a ryokan?

Depends on the room grade. Always look for 'private bathroom' or 'ensuite' in the room description. If it's not explicitly mentioned, assume you will share a communal bath.

Which is better for a romantic trip?

For one night, a high-end ryokan with a private hot spring bath is arguably the most romantic experience you can have in Japan.

Choosing Between a Ryokan and a Hotel in Tokyo

Choose a ryokan if you want a traditional, immersive cultural experience with private multi-course meals and futons, but choose a modern hotel if you prioritize Western-style amenities, private bathrooms, and central proximity to train stations. Most couples find the best balance by booking one or two nights in a ryokan and the remainder of their trip in a convenient, central hotel.

Define your comfort expectations. Ryokans often feature shared bathing areas (onsen or sento) and require sleeping on floor futons. If you need a Western mattress and a private en-suite shower, verify the ryokan's 'private bath' status specifically before booking, as many historic ones do not have them.
Analyze your location needs. Tokyo hotels are usually clustered around major Yamanote line stations (Shinjuku, Shibuya, Tokyo Station). Ryokans are often tucked into quieter, residential neighborhoods which require more walking or bus transfers to reach major tourist hubs.
Compare the dining structure. Ryokans often include 'kaiseki' (multi-course) dinners and breakfasts in the room rate. Check if the price is 'half-board' (two meals included) or 'room only.' Hotels in Tokyo rarely include meals, but give you access to thousands of local restaurants within a 5-minute walk.
Check the age or history factor. A true ryokan experience often involves older wooden buildings. If you have mobility issues or dislike steep stairs and thin walls, a modern hotel will be significantly more comfortable.

Is it rude to stay in a hotel instead of a ryokan?: Not at all. Tokyo is a massive, modern city. Hotels are the standard for 95% of travelers due to convenience and price.
Do I have to share a bathroom at a ryokan?: Depends on the room grade. Always look for 'private bathroom' or 'ensuite' in the room description. If it's not explicitly mentioned, assume you will share a communal bath.
Which is better for a romantic trip?: For one night, a high-end ryokan with a private hot spring bath is arguably the most romantic experience you can have in Japan.